Well, I'm not so sure about the way you wrote this. The phrasing of each verse as a question works in some parts but not in others and as a whole, it doesn't really compliment the piece. Also, the non-perfect rhyming was off. It didn't exactly work for the piece either because it made it seem choppy and not-really there, know what I mean? Other than that, nice try.

-Dee, from the Review Marathon.

[Check up on it. Link's in my profile.]

I like the chorus, the repetition is cool and true.