Whoa! Three words- I loved it.
I have no idea why your teacher didn't like it; this was so exciting. And interesting! It's honestly amazing, and I don't usually gush like this. You're good. :D

lol, i can see why mrs. s was mad at you. lol. it was good though. is that a real story? i know that the dude was real, but did you just make up the story? oh well, goodjob!
luv,
me!