I guess I'm back into the reviewing swing a little... I hope it lasts longer this time though. Okay... to move on, this story automatically has a nice start to it. I like when I'm reading a story, novel, or whatever, and I can either feel the writer, narrator, or character's mind churning and hear their voice clearly through bog (fog) of thoughts and words. I get that feeling instantly from the beginning of the story. I can imagine hearing the narrator/character talking as he writes, and his offset thoughts of himself: I'm a loser, I'm a loser... being chanted in his head.

{My great-grandfather was my hero, if only I could be more like him. In his youth, he had been physically strong and he was tall. He sired five sons and three daughters on three different women. He was everything that I am not.} I wonder if it's the fact that his great-grand was a strong, tall man or that he sired children from several different woman that he finds commendable?

{"This is the future, Billy, you should find a woman. With every sexually transmitted disease cured, you have nothing to worry about."} This expression reminds me of the unflattering and comical saying from 'Shallow Hal'.

{"Hell, no. We still have cancer. We still don't have flying cars. The Internet hasn't improved much in 50 years. We are still at war. We still fight over shit that isn't very important. At least, the cars can give you road directions in a sexy female voice. Damn, bastards. We still use oil. I figured we would have run out of the stuff by 2012, but we didn't. Damn, polluted world. The problem with the world is that everyone sees it through a bias. The worst thing about the future is they still show re-runs of Gilligan's Island. Don't people get it? The little shit never gets off the island."} Ha! I could actually imagine the future as described. 'Gilligan's Island'... That's pitiful. I could more image 'Golden Girls' still on and people singing that opening song because you can't get "Thank you for being a friend..." out of your head, either that or 'Seinfield'.

Again nice start... I saw two minor mistakes [I can't remember where, but they're there] and not much to say, except what I did on the charater part (hope you keep that up within the story). On that, I'll see where this goes.

M.S.

Wow, though I had the feeling that this would be the end of the story, I didn't expect it, lol. This story is great and funny. And the narration in it is cool. Sometimes a bit distracted, but great nonetheless.

C.S.

I feel like this may be a biting satire of modern news and human attention span. "DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! But you've all heard that. Back to the show." Like... does anyone care?

Professor Wendell seems to be in a bubble of denial.

Blackburn is very calculating. I like it. Bill shouldn't spit on customers, no matter how much pain he feels. Poor guy...

Athena's point of view was nice. She was very direct about things.

I'm sort of sickly excited to see where it goes from here. Not that I'm pleased she died, I rather liked her, but I can't wait to see how it changes the mood of the story.

I love your futuristic societies. This one seems like a distilled utopia, sort of like it would be lit with white lighting.

Doctor Blackburn is completely my favorite character. He is wicked cool/evil. Is unwilling donors make my day.

Okay, this chapter confused me a bit. Ernie is the guy that's writing the journal, right? And he's gay? Or did I entirely screw the characters up and mix everyone up?

I'm not sure, but either way, the chapter did show a bit of depth in it that dealt with some emotion and an issue that hypothetically is still something that people don't accept.

Great chap.

C.S.

A new friend, exactly what he needs... But do I sense that she's probably gonna die too. It's odd that the both of them would meet at a cemetery and become friends through her trying to talk to him.

C.S.

Wow, he really does have no life. For a guy that could run circles around people with marbles he just allows himself to do nothing. Let's hope somehow going to the grave will change something in him.

C.S.

Okay, not much in this chap. He's getting over his great-grandfather's death gradually, and some babe, lol. I wonder exactly how she fits into the plot if she does.

And Allen, only true friends would that cruelly honest.

C.S.

From the way the narrator is talking I thought he was way older than thirty, lol. He's just needs to get back on the bench and get him some ginko, lol.

This chapter was funny and pretty refreshing, and the grandfather is an old coot, but a funny one.

Going to see what happens next.

C.S.

Ernie and Heath are wonderfully good together. Very matter of fact about it, too.

Anyway, they seem like they're going to be good supporting characters so far. I especially like Earnie. "Piss on Bill, too."

They have the most awkard conversation ever... But I guess it worked for them.
Wow. He has the most unfortunate and slightly pretentious name ever, but he seems like such an unassuming guy! I like him despite his full name.
Athena is interesting so far. Can't wait to see how this plays out!