This is a well written poem and a great metphor to the struggling teen. Nice work.

Hey this is Tegh from the RH!

I owe ya a review, sorry if it took a bit, but my job sucks and it's hard to do what I want or need to do in a timely fashion.

That aside, I'm not a great reviewer of poetry and I honestly try to stay away from it...not that I dislike poetry, just that my views on it are kinda skewed. But since that's your primary posting here on FP I'll giver a shot ;)

Grammatically the only touch up I see is in the second line. The comma should come before the word until, else it just flows awkwardly.

I like the vivid details in certain areas though the definitive point is never truly pinned down. This is a good thing in some cases in poetry and frequently used, though I like a less round about point (personal preference).

Though I'm not a poetry buff I liked it, and thought it expressed an interesting view, though it could reflect numerous possibilities ;)

-Tegh

From what I gather, it's about something ephemeral, in my opinion, life could be what you're trying to get across. Of course, I could be wrong and it could be something else. Depends on your individual interpretation, I guess. It could be about someone finally being noticed, and then after a while, the acknowledgement dying down as well. I guess. I like it, though.

Beautiful, full of imagery, and sad. Eventually all beauty is recognized for what it truly is. Sometimes it just needs the right stage to express itself from. I think you have found that here, moonflower.

Great detail, a very unique poem. I loved it. You have such a talent at writing poems. I like how you started with it waiting, and ended with it closing. It made it seem complete

Beautiful. It's good to write about things that aren't written about much. The imagery in this poem was definitely strong due to the use of personification. I love the idea of this poem.

sealednectar