Definitely an abrupt ending, but I'm sure you plan to expand it. So sad about Eric and Maeve, though. I rather liked them.

Other than that, well done! If you post the edited version I will await it.

~~Mazzie~~

I'm sorry I took so long to review. I've been busy.

Magi Dari is showing his dark side, which I don't like, but I don't suppose I can complain because everyone needs a flaw.

And while I understand this is just a NaNo, I think you should definitely develop Tristan and Maeve's relationship a bit more. Just a tip for editing!

~~Mazzie~~

Hi! I really like your story and it has a nice plot. However, I do hope you would check your punctuations and spelling? It can be very confusing for the readers if the spelling is wrong and if there are no punctuations to separate ideas. Thanks!

Awe, I like that ending! Even if Eric got jipped. I'm so glad that Tristan changed back too! I liked him ... I think it's the name. I love the name Tristan. Anyway, awesome stuff, and I'm glad you finished it! Well done!! ^_^

Dammit, he's a bird again. Blah, poor Tristan. I so hope Maeve can turn him back! I'm actually torn - I don't know now if I want her to return to Eric, or end up with Tristan ... let's see what's in the epilogue ^_

No! Evil Rhodari!! How could he do that?? So not cool. lol, I'm glad the bird-boy got turned back. Yay for him ... but I still want to stab Rhodari with something very sharp ...

That was almost Heroes-esque. (those kinds of visions happen way to often on that show).

I think Maeve's reaction seemed rather realistic, as did her parents'. Still, I'm glad she decided to go! Also I hope Maeve/Eric/Rhodari find a way to save poor Tristan! I rather like him!

~~Mazzie~~

Very cool chapter! Question though - the man that Adelaide had a crush on, was that Tristan the bird-man? How was he still alive at that point? He would have been really old ... Anyway, update with more soon! I wanna find out more about the bird-man ^_

Awesome stuff!! I like Maeve and Eric. Very sweet ... but why can I see her leaving him at some point? Or something equally bad happening to him? Or maybe I just have a tendency to think that way ... anyway, I'm loving this so far, and I especially liked your little author story at the end. Nice touch! Can't wait to see more!

I didn't mean to make you feel bad! This is far, far from cliche! It was just hard to tell where the story was going from the prologue!

Okay so points: Comma errors were much more pronounced in this chapter, but it's NaNo, so you don't have to worry about those now. Also, Eric and Maeve desperately need new nicknames for each other. Ending every sentence with "my love" causes some nausea. I also think their relationship should be more pronounced at the beginning. It sneaked up on me, and I was rather confused for a minute or two.

Otherwise, this was really good. That queen is devious, indeed. Maeve will have to greatly develop her magical powers to defeat her!

I'm sorry again if I made you feel bad (since this review has a lot of criticism in it)! I'm really just trying to help!

~~Mazzie~~

ooh, I like the sound of this one! please continue :3

A very intense setup. I want to know more!

There were a few small grammar errors, but nothing too bad.

I think that as long as you do not allow this plot to become cliche, it could work well for you. Very well done!

~~Mazzie~~

Wow. This is pretty good. I did notice some things that could have been rearanged though, but seeing as how this is a nanowrimo novel I'm guessing that you don't really have enough time to go back and change minor cosmetic things. Still, if you would like me to, I could send you my list in a PM.

Good Luck!

:D

~nicola~