Hm, a very interesting start in my opinion. Leaves just enough to be curious about the next chapter. Didn't see any grammar mistakes that popped out at me, that's good.I'll be watching this one.

I like how it begins. The hospital scene sort of draws you into the story and creates a certain level of intrigue.

One thing I noticed though as a slight, very slight negative was that the grammar seemed a bit off and you have 'rite' written somewhere were I think you meant 'right'. Do you get it beta'd? at times it also seemed a bit lacking in description.

Other than that, pretty good job.