This is brilliant! I love how the mime flipped Rain off, passing it off like a "present". You're fantastic at including multiple aspects--the comedy, horror, thriller, drama, etc. Enough dialogue to get the story in gear, not overbearing at all. It gives some good insight into Rain's character, but also provides a nice contrast to your description of his thoughts and actions at the beginning. Great job!

Wow, creepy. You're right, the original idea at the end is kinda ridiculous, but you manged to turn it spooky. Nice job.

Wow, seriously creepy. It's got great buildup, you've got a flair for this kind of story. Keep writing!