|Reviews for Tracks|
| Saroo 11/15/08 . chapter 1
That was a really, REALLY good introduction chapter. Way to grab the attention and hold it!
Now don't leave us hanging! Please update! That was awesome, and I can't wait to find out more. It was interesting to me that Nan didn't seem to understand what he was talking about. Does she not know that she's a 'changeling', or is she not one?
Please please please update-dying of curiosity here!
| Fwe 11/14/08 . chapter 1
I know what you mean about not writing things you like for NaNo. Just ruins it if you rush, eh? :D
Nicely done, though. The beginning was a little wishywashy for me in terms of imagery, but as it went on I really got hooked. The names are a little French, so I'm thinking you have a France-ish setting. (Which is actually what I did last year for NaNo - yours being the infinitely cooler one.)
I was surprised that you actually included spurting blood. Wasn't expecting it. But, then, it also made the ending rather nice. Action packed - you jumped right into it. Very good. I always have a problem with that. Nice to see a story where it isn't bogged down by unnecessary background info. That sort of thing can be included as the story goes along.
Like the charms. I thought those were a wonderful way of introducing the audience to the culture. It seems like what we're superstitious about is taken to a whole other level here.
The part about waiting to come in late to seem like they arrived separately - with horses! - was a real pleasure for me to read. Clever on the mother's part.
And, of course, the actual part about Nan being a changeling. Interesting. Leaves you to suspect or of two things: 1) Nan might actually be a changeling, and 2) Sir Jerald might just be a jerk who doesn't want his new wife's kid around.
Though, I'm a little hesitant to say that I enjoyed the way he went around telling everyone. Unless touching a changeling has some sort of stigma on it. Like bringing bad luck onto yourself. In that case, it might be seen as an incredibly good idea for someone to point it out to someone else, lest the first someone is somehow thus responsible for that unwarned person's bad fortune later on.
But... that's just a theory. Sorry about that. :D All theorizing has officially ceased.
Nice beginning. I'd like to see what'll happen.
Curious as to how old Nanette is, though. I'm wavering between 9 and 12.
| HighPixelPriestess 11/11/08 . chapter 1
I was a little surprised Nan ran as far as she did. Considering she was in a largely populated crowd, I was expecting there would be others around, perhaps guards or others expecting her to run. It seems a bit strange Sir Jerald would announce it, if there were no others involved.
“Now that’s I dress I wouldn’t be caught dead in, not anywhere in public, much less here"
Looks like you're missing an "a" instead of an I.
" It was Sir Jerald. His blond hair was pulled back into a sleek tail and he wore the brand new set of coattails that Nan’s mother had picked out for him just the other day. "
Not exactly major, I'm just bringing it up incase you've missed it. Did you mean it was pulled into a sleek ponytail, or did you intend to say "tail" ?
The ending was mysterious, I'll give you that. It left me with a great deal of curiosity to find out how things progess. I couldn't work out if they were afraid she'd take or use them, or if they beleived it would keep her away. I'm guessing you will further explain the effects of charms on her, etc.
I did enjoy the story, I've come to like your writing actually. You have a knack for originality, a high quality of work & characters which captivate you. :)
| Sophronia Lee 11/11/08 . chapter 1
I really liked this piece. It was very well written and interesting, so I was able to get lost in the words.
The beginning hooked me. I liked the metaphor-thingie about flying. The way you jumped right into the middle of the action was pretty interesting, and the pace was fine.
I'm a bit confused, however, about the time period. Colonial? Steam-punk Victorian? Completely fantasy? Since it's only the first chapter, though, I'm sure I'll figure out in time.
Nan's reaction to the accusation is beleivable, along with everyone else's. I can't really say much more about characters because, again, it's only the first chapter.
I'm looking forward to reading more of this.
| Air Rey 11/11/08 . chapter 1
Wow! Stunning! I really don't read fantasy at all. Still, you got he hooked. You created a setting so dark yet enticing. Your plot airs some mystery that you readers would crave for more. From the frist chapter alone, you try to establish the story and your theme with a sheer depth making your readers think and wonder about the next.
I'm addicted. I hope you can continue the story. I'm now a fan of the story.
| Nicola Guills 11/11/08 . chapter 1
Interesting concept. The begining of it reminds me of the begining of "Pan's Laberinth."
The only thing that I don't get (and I know this is a nano novel) is that it didn't make sense for the Sir dude to just be all like, Nan's a changeling. It didn't fit with the image of this petty, rich society that prizes social standing. Typically the guy would have been mortified and would never admit that he could house a...whatever. To admit it in fron of his peers at a huge social gathering would be pure social suicide, like admitting that you're family member wets the bed in the middle of prom, you know? People like that tend to go for stealth, in the dark of the night kidnapping stuff...you get my drift?
Seems intereting, I'll keep my eye on this.