 rust phoenix 2008-12-20 . chapter 1You've done a great job capturing the frantic feeling. Ordinarily I would say more punctuation would help the flow, but the way you've got it now really fits the emotion for the subject matter. It's got a very choppy beat, and I like it. The wordplay is also very well done. I can relate to this more than I would like to. |
 Caecilia Bellz 2008-11-17 . chapter 1There's a sense of confusion here. I really love the patterns you use. It's almost... Rhythmic? I can almost hear this to a beat. Very cool.
I can almost relate to it. Very good poem. I absolutely adore it.
My favourite parts?
[Am I the anti social
Or am I the introvert
Bi polar two moods
One to the other
The other to the one
Am I The Introvert?]
and
[Oh god,
Climatic poetic
Sounds of purity
Drifting off
The wrong place at the wrong time.
The right place at the right time.
The left place at the right.
Wrong?]
Greatness!
~Caecilia, the Roadhouse |
 R4nt 2008-11-14 . chapter 1I always go left.
Just so I know that I'm never right.
And it's great to be wrong.
I liked it, especially the play of phrases ("Is it right to go left? Is it right left?").
A little beat, a little poetry. |
 siphoned afterglow 2008-11-12 . chapter 1its right to go anyway you want really. It seems like these days all i've been doing is going left.
sorry, off topic.
lovely, yes although it doesn't quick reach the level that your usual work does but thats okay. i liked some bits in here:
'Climatic poetic
Sounds of purity
Drifting off
The wrong place at the wrong time.
The right place at the right time.
The left place at the right'
thats really awesome. seemed so disconnected but connected in a way. do you get what i'm saying? bah, me sucks!
'Flashes of what I
Could have been'
Ouch. relateable, alright.
i don't like the ending. i'd say go left all the way. but that might have something to do with my gift of doing everything exactly the opposite way of what others do. anyway, you carry on and write more dear.
;) |
 DarkPhoenixIncarnate 2008-11-12 . chapter 1Breath taking. Very, very well done~! *FAVS* |