I hope you write more of these and continue to tell this tale of friendship.

If I have any critique on this on, it would be that I think that in order to keep the readers interested in reading more of these poems, you might want to switch the format up a bit. Learn to pace the lines to fit your emotional state and it'll do wonders for engaging the readers, I think.

I really liked that this poem was set on her birthday and that within it you were thinking about how much longer you were going to be friends, in turn leading the readers to believe you're asking yourself if you're going to stick around for another year with her and her up-and-down behavior. This was a really good idea, sticking the idea of time spent with birthdays because it's relatable, and it resonates with the readers.

As someone who's had to say goodbye to a friend in order to take care of myself, I sincerely wish you and your friend good luck in finding yourselves in the future.

-ADS, The Review Marathon (see the link in my profile for more info)

I liked the introduction of Tom in this poem, because he seems representative of some of the others (you hinted at their being other friends involved in the previous poems). I also liked how you mentioned him at the end; very funny, and it made the poem go full circle.

The only thing I didn't really like in this one is that the story behind it isn't as clear as it was in the previous two. We know that she's changed, but we don't know what happened that lead to Tom saying you were wrong about her. Granted, you wouldn't want to go into the whole discussion/fight/story, but a few hints to further explain what's going on might give the declaration at the end more emotional power.

-ADS, from the Review Marathon (see my profile for a link)

Nicely done.

I liked the overall flow of the poem (the short lines in particular) because they read very fast and very intense and that seems to be what the character's movement is like. It seems determined, as if she wants to be optimistic. The longer lines in the first poem seemed to be representative of the hesitation you had in letting her go.

I also liked that this style was so dramatically different from the first poem, because it conveys a completely different tone in in short lines instead of line lines. That Sweetgrass book I mentioned in the first review does the same thing and it really worked out well for that author's characters. Great job!

-ADS, from the Review Marathon (see my profile for a link)

One thing I really liked in this poem was the silver platter image because it sort of struck the right cord on a poetic level every time you brought it back up. And it was a nice visual of something that wasn't literal (I hope that makes sense).

Also, I liked that this poem told a story because it makes me want to read the other poems in this series to see how the story plays out. Have you ever read a young adult story told in poetic form? Or in a very creative prose form? One example off the top of my head is Sweetgrass Basket (I believe that's the right title). It's told in alternating chapters by two Native American sisters who are sent off to a school where they're being reformed to fit white standards. Anyhow, it's told in a very poetic way from each girl's point of view, and that gives the story an extra bit of emotion that wouldn't be in a prose version. You could probably pull off something like that using your experience with your friend.

Nicely done,

-ADS, from The Review Marathon, see the link at the bottom of my profile for more info

wow -- I am so utterly sorry you had to go through that too. it's unbareably painful, but you hit it smack on. wow. wow, wow, wow. it's so horrible when you realize who you're friends "really" are, isn't it; when you realize they're not who you once thought they were... sorry if I'm ranting: I'll be quite now.

loved it.

This is really good. Keep up the good work!