This is my friend's account which i am sorta using...

~Sera~
I liked this version because it actually sounds like a guy talking, but Crystal sounds a little bit too much like Amber. I mean, I loved it and all, but it just sounded like Crystal changed her name to Amber or vice versa. I don't know though maybe it's was supposed to sound that way, so forgive me if I got it wrong, but maybe you could look at Crystal's narration and change the higher vocab. into a little bit more like
a ** of teenager would sound? Thanks! Other than that the story is GREAT! I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT TILL Chap.4 IS OUT!

~Alex~

I like your notes at the end. They are very informative. Is the guard the same person as the chirou that disappeared?