Haha, very good! The very last line is my favorite. The poem comes in really close into simple things and then broadens to make you realize what you just did. I liked it a lot.

I prefer it how you formatted it. this is a very nice poem. I love the imagery of the sound. a bit unique, but very well done.

:O I loved it...especially the bit about particles separating and colliding...reminded me of my chemistry classes. Wow..very ambiguous..me like :)

hey!
This is you present for being amazing in the review marathon. yayness!
i think that i like this particular poem to the left. I think it all depends on what the content of the poem is on whether to have it centered or not.
now to the poem itself...
when i first read it i was like 'what?" but then i reread it and it made sense:) it's always good when you can do that i think, make the reader do a double take, it shows that you have mad skills.
I liked your line "crushing together like my hand through glass" ouch. great imagery.
i also liked the word choice of "slendor" it seemed to fit perfectly.
Just one grammar thing: I think that there should be a comma between the first and second lines. It would flow better that way.
Overall great peice of poetry.
~fatbird:)

Wow... that is REALLY good... It's hard to explain. But it's definitely a lovely piece. I had to read it over a few times, just so I could try and wrap my head around it. Very nice :) Amazing job!

Left justified- what a gorgeous slant. I'm not sure why, but I think I'm into it in a major way.

I didn't really understand where the poem was going; nevertheless, I immensely enjoyed where it was. I sort of had a picture in my mind of something beautiful, I just wasn't sure exactly what.

"Splendor"- a perfect word.

I love this.
I love the way you said lapse in sanity.
I love the way it's formatted.
I love the way it flows.

It's lovely.

I like it just the way it is, but I think center would be ok too.

nice poem.

It's fine the way it is. I like this. Nice job ^_^


XKristie MarieX

I prefer left, personally.

Very nice. The beginning line and the ending line are beautiful. I totally dig this. Great flow and energy. Woot!

I like the format of the poem. It's kind of like each line is building up ultimately for the last line, which is cool. Good job

wow.. I really like it.. I like the imagery! LOL, talk about randomness.. I'm like that too sometimes, I went to our comfort room, then when I got out, I already made a poem LOL. weird. XD

Anyway, nice piece :)

Congratulations on being first place in the RM! xD

I really like your format for this. The single-spaces tie in all the words and keep the poem connected. Plus, the length of your lines consecutively longer looks nice with the idea of the poem. It adds to the theme of rain falling, I suppose.

And even though I think your imagery is really well done in this, the poem is a little wordy. Or at least, that's what it seemed like when I first read it. The more I read it, the less wordy it seems to me, but I still think the descriptions might be better a little more separated.

It's interesting that you published this as a Life fanfic. Because I'd assume it would be under Nature, but I guess you were writing it more under the lines of life... whatnot.

Good job, though! I especially liked the lines "colliding for the sole purpose of creating something beautiful". I like the idea of that. Very pretty. :D

-Peach, Review Squader review! (I nearly died when I saw how many stories are on your profile page.)

This is your review for the AF game at the RG. You didn't PM preferences, and I'm going to be busy for the week, so I just picked your most recent piece to review, m'kay?

Wow, I loved the way you described rain without once using the word "rain", or even "liquid", or "drops", or anything that might refer to rain at all. It have the piece a unique feel, and let the reader use their own imagination to think of what it might mean.

I love the concept of this piece. I've read poems about rain before, but this one has a nice ring to it. It makes me think of dancing. A sharp, precise dance like the tango. It's altogether a refreshing and neat feeling.

Left or center aligned? I like it left, like this. It looks like stair steps.