Wow! This made me breathless. Your word use is extraordinary. You built up the excitement with an ending upburst of imagery in the end. I'm liking this. I wish to read more of your works. Great use of imagery! Good use of words. Good job!

I absolutely LOVE it. I know how it is when you're writing a poem, and it suddenly changes direction as if it's got a mind of its own. Sometimes the change makes you have to patch the seam, but this is wonderful, flawless.

I like this piece a lot. you portrayed the feelings well and you had a lot of good imagery that made the feelings stand out even more. though the last line does not seem to fit the poem, it actually makes the whole thing stand out more. all together it is a beautiful piece. i think it could use more imagery and i would take the periods out. :)