you have an intresting style. kinda monolouge-ish. keep writing.

Damn, it shocks me how you can be so personal and upfront with your poetry but it still manages to touch on me in such an abstract way. I really like this poem, it reeks of feeling and epic loneliness, regret washed in a light romantic solution. I am so motivated now...

"even if it is only an unspoken secret between us
one we never knew the other understood until it was too late-
and now you've taken a part of me with you to the grave."

I LOVED THIS! the whole poem and especially the few lines above that I quoted. i liked the tittle the most, i've never really thought of it and ya know if you hadn't used it I think that would definately be my next. i feel this poem is about loving someone so much you didn't even think you could love god (which for some people is pretty big) and there was so much you wanted to say to someone and they got you then vice versa. you loved them so much it was hence a "sin", but you completely accepted it, you didn't look back or feel bad, you took that in and found it beautiful in the end. that's what I got from it. idk...this was the best poem i've read in a long time ya know it would be hard for me to write somethig like that and ya know you really accomplished this. good job, LOVE IT SO MUCH! keep writing always.

XOXO,
Jeffree!

Even if you didn't tell us that this wasn't written for an actual person, it feels as though someone would be able to guess that it is anyway. The poem feels like it's soaking in honesty, for lack of a better term, and the emotion has such a strong ring of truth to it. The emotion, quite simply, is very strong. I like how you speak directly to the person, making it sound like a poem but also a conversation at the same time. The term "Beautiful Sin" itself is fascinating, and I love how it's bolded near the end.

I love this! It's very good! My favorite part was this:


There are so many things I wish I had whispered in your ear,

to see the blend of shock and understanding on your face,

that brief flash of longing I can empathize with

because that same sick, unnatural fire burns within me, too;

and maybe you aren’t with me because we would explode,

because you would be the fuel on my fire that would cause me to burn for sin,

in more ways than one,

but not evil sin –

Beautiful Sin,


I just love that part for some reason! Great job! :D