[frowned on outsiders.] To me, it doesn't seem like 'on' fits. I think 'upon' may sound better... That may be just me though...

Wow. Already a spin-off of Ghost Dance!

Interesting what you have here so far. Promises to be gritty, and really good. Great beginning, can't wait for an update!

Cae

"Crazy as a rat in a tin shithouse." That's a brilliant expression. I have no idea what a shithouse, tin or otherwise, even is, but I'm tempted to start saying that. And with a summary like that I definitely want to read the rest of this. If they're going to keep up this level of inebriation then anything truly is possible... One little (in fact almost insignificant) nit-pick would be when you introduce them as "two highschool-aged youths," I think the 'highschool-aged' is redundant because you've already mentioned that it's a gathering of school kids and I think it sounds a bit clunky... just my opinion though. Overall it's a very good beginning.

So does this entertwine with Ghost Dance? If so, I'm already interested. I love the characters already, and I love your habit of introducing thme in non-conventional ways.

Update soon.

-Stardust.