I've been reading and here is what I have to say on this little chapter. In the fourth section how is the head mistress watching Tristan and Vanessa, a camara' maybe, gotta explain. You have a nice character depth with Jessica; she seems to have the most character depth with her own quirks, traits, and thought. The teachers on the other hand have the least amount of depth. The idea of a story based on how a group of people die sounds like an interesting experiment. It is good so far.

Keep on writing, would you kindly.

- Kackex

The introduction has been well done. Nice unique name for the story and the school. Their should be parts added in the beginning for the intervenals in the travel there, the entering of the school, and etc. to enable smoother transistions. It seems to be original and may be very entertaining. You have nice discriptions, and good wording. I will contiune to read and review your story, I hope you return the favor.

Keep Writing,

Would you kindly, Kackex

Whooa, drama. :P These people are teenagers, aren't they? I just remember, from the previous chapter - I think - that you started off with "boy" and "girl", so I had an idea that they were kids. Maybe you shoulda put "teenage boy/girl", you know?

Anyway, I'll read the next chapter soon.

Oh, by the way, I like the idea of an evil headmistress who is going to (somehow) kill the students (I think). ;D

Hey there. I really like this story so far!! (Does that show my enthusiasm? Haha.)

Seriously, I think it's really well written. And /I/ didn't think it was boring, either. Yes, you do need to make things realistic - a little problem I'm having with one of my stories at the moment - but you did this very well. I love your detail of your characters.

I did notice mistakes here and there, but nothing too major.

I like the poem-y bits at the start. Very interesting. It captured my attention in the prologue.

One thing I want to say, though, is that, while this story is interesting, and it is - again - interesting to know they will die, as I read this chapter, I started to think that perhaps you should not have said that. It would have made it more mysterious, what with the headmistress talking about keeping an eye on her students, and everything. Well, I'm not saying you SHOULDN'T have said that, just that it would be more mysterious if you hadn't. And, one more thing: having said that, the same goes for your Author's Note at the bottom. Now we know they have powers. It takes away the element of surprise, you know?

Anyways, I await reading further chapters. :)

I've finally gotten around to reading this, and I must say I'm really impressed! I've always been a fan of stories with people who have powers and stuff like that, and this is an interesting take on that. The headmistress is really intriguing. I really want to know what her motives are for doing what she is. I'm also curious to see what Jessica, Vanessa and Tristan's other roomate is like. I bet he's an interesting character :). The only critique I could offer is that I'd like to see some more of Jessica's personality. She seems a little bit dull right now, and I'd like to see more characterization on her. Other than that, this story is wonderful. I hope you update soon!

Short chapters are good because they’re easier to read. Mine tend to drag on a bit.

I’m still liking your characters and finding the headmistress intriguing. I am looking forward to finding out what she is and why she is doing what she is.

Jessica wasn’t overly self pitying – she’s alone in an unfamiliar place so it seemed like a natural reaction fro her to go with the flow.
Still liking the siblings as well, especially Vanessa. The fake niceness is well done, although you do mention her green eyes a lot.

So I am officially in love with this. I don't get why it's called Copyrighted Powers Acdemy though. I mean, can you seriously copyright powers? Ah well. The only thing is, the whole night adventure went by really fast. I think the lake/ocean thing needs more description in particular. Also, you keep calling Lily a girl, but I thought she was a teacher?
Yousay every chapter is boring, but it's not. Nothing interesting actually happens, but your style keeps it moving. Over all, very intriguing, I can't wait for more.

Oh, and by the way, this review is submitted for the lastest chapter, but it's an overview of everthing up until now, since I just started reading. :D

Women instead of woman in the first paragraph. How old are the members of the faculty because you refer to them as girls and boys, and they sound quite young when they speak.

I liked the fact that the headmistress can spy with the mirror. I’m really curious about who she is and why she’s planning this. It’s also interesting that she seems to know what’s going to happen.

I didn’t think it was a boring chapter. We did get to meet the four students (I’m presuming the mystery man is Celian, although you said he was older.) And the two siblings look like they could be interesting characters when we get to find out more about them.

Firstly I think I owe you an apology – You reviewed one of my stories ages ago, and although I try and return you seem to have escaped. Sorry about that, but at least karma has now caught up with me……

I liked the prologue – it reminded me of something I’ve seen done before (not on fiction press) where all the characters had a different poem. It worked really well, and it was a captivating way to start. Especially with ‘Listen’.

The contrast with then dropping us straight into the activity of the train ride was a good contrast as well. – sorry, boat ride. (I tend to write as I read and the ‘all aboard’ made me think train). It made me sit up and pay more attention. ‘it had all started with a letter… a letter of acceptance’, that’s a good line too.

I didn’t think it was strange that you started by telling us what was going to happen – or what the headmistress was planning anyway, hopefully it wont be that easy for her. I liked the way there’s now an air of menace hanging over the story. You were right though – it gave it a completely different feel to Harry Potter.

Look forward to seeing more of Willie...I bet if you play your cards right she could become quite a memorable character.

Ouch...I thought for a moment that Tristan was a goner, but I guess not. Hmm...the plot thickens. Not much else to say except pretty good work so far.

So the chapter was good. And I don't have much to criticize. What I'm going to mention has little to do with the story itself, actually. And that is:

I wouldn't advise telling us about the story or characters in the Author's Notes. As a reader, when I read your Author's Notes, I feel like I'm being handed a plate of food by a waiter, and then being spoon-fed by said waiter. What I'd like to feel is like I'm being handed a plate of food that I can explore, eating what looks good when I want to eat it.

My point is, I think telling us about the story, characters, or details of coming chapters takes away from the reading experience. The characters and plot are much less open to creative interpretation (which, as far as I'm concerned, is the point of reading and writing) when their archetypes and personalities are described outside of the story. This is all very important, in my opinion.

As for the chapter itself, it was good, but I think you've done enough to establish things at this point. Let's get into the nitty gritty of the plot now! I'm super excited; it's all looking to be smashing-good.

Keep up the hard work!

~Riley

I finally got time to read at least the first chapter of your story. It seems really good. Wow, and you described her as looking as an innocent and kind woman; but she really is not since she is going to kill them all.

I really don't like Ms. I-so-perfect head-mistress.