I bet that the tension between Vanessa and her brother will spike in later chapters. This almost looks like it's heading into the psychological thriller area. Very cool. Keep it up.

Hm...the rules for the place seem to be pretty strict. Good decision, it will give the next chapter a sense of urgency. No real complaints here.

ooh love it can't wait for next chapter

You're right it is a little boring. But, o there was a new character. I still wondering what the other two can do and I'm wondering about Willie. Please Update.

I don't exactly get the meaning, but I am sure that when I read more, it will make sense. (I just get confused on most prologues...) Happy Writings!

*lael1bologna*

I liked the introduction at the very first chapter. It's not often where we see a story where we know exactly what will happen in the end. That almost gives the story a sort of thriller/mystery appraoch and if pulled off well, suspense can be filtered from that aspect superbly.

So far, good description and a sense of unavoidable doom is felt. I hope to also see the characters develop even further in later chapters, which I'm sure will come.

Very good job so far. A very unique approach.

Well I do have one thing to say. This prologue captivated my interest entirely.

And you thought I had talent!

Ha!

Your imagery was amazing. I could picture every moment. It was like watching a movie.

Great job.

I can't read the rest now, but I'll be sure to as soon as I can!

p.s. I found no typos or errors. Kudos!

Luna Turner

Surprising Prologue. At first it seemed like this was going to a story of children attending a school of great expectations, and then at the last line-a twist. It captures your interest and hits you with a bang. 5/5 for the prologue.

This was exciting! And I still like Vanessa lol Good to hear they don't die...yet...

I don't think your story is cliche, you shouldn't worry about that!

Vanessa is very cute, I like her

Short chapter but it was fun. Also, it's explained a lot more to me.

This isn't the type of story I tend to read but I'm enjoying this. And you seem to really care for your characters, so that's sweet.

I love the name of the story, it's rather funny. Everyone is going to die, though? I'm already sad...

HOLY CRUD! I am so glad you said to read this! It's great!

Whoa..*blinks* That was exciting. First I was like "Tristan! No!" Then I was all hopeful because the headmistress lets him live. Next "Acid Leeches! Oh snap!" Now the cat-and-mouse deal really comes into play rather than just being alluded to, and it's fantastic. The headmistress is deliciously wicked. Please update soon!Celestial Songbird