whoah that was creepy...in a good way of course
xx

... It's hard to say with this one. I liked your descriptions at the beginning. I think that everything BEFORE the vampires was extremely tasteful. Now, I'm a not a fan of vampires- at least, not vampires the way that most people think of them (as blood-sucking, inherently creepy creatures). To be honest, I was expecting something COMPLETELY different out of the ending, and the vampire thing sort of disappointed me.

This isn't neccesarily a bad thing, however. I have been disappointed before, and the rest of the story has changed my mind. I'm not sure if this is a prologue to a bigger story or not, but if it is- for the love of God, don't cliche the vampires. Come up with your own ideas. It'll be a much cooler story that way.

If you do continue this- please message me. I'd love to read it.