The administrative end of the school being kept cold for dramatic effect. That’s a brilliant idea? Do they have flickering lights and dripping water as well?
Now, with the sun perched on the line where the sky touched the earth, - that was a strong image. I liked it.
It was enlightening to see a different side of Matthew – the vulnerability gave him some extra depth. And Hugh think she can’t kill anyone? Is he sure? And what’s Matt going to do when he finds out about Ben having a girlfriend? That would be more dangerous than Aaron?
The coffee being cold at the end was fitting, and a little bit funny. Fun way to pile on the atmosphere.
Maybe he needed smarter friends. Maybe he does. And I liked the image of going with the gentle flow of the hallways. Very chilled and meditive.
And Aaron is a jerk, but quite a big intimidating jerk. The comment about doing it for the band made me think that he’s the sort of self righteous person who’s not easily reasoned with either. Good luck to Ben, I guess because I doubt Matt will see reason and back off. Hey, would he be as much fun if he did?
The texting with Jess was fun. And not lovey dovey and sweet.

I loved the fight scene between Keleos and Ky

This chapter made the whole story come alive because you included the title in it.

Very very nice part between the conversation bewten Raphael and Micheal too. I understood a lot there too.

I wonder what's going on... I think that it's been such a long time since I've read this story that I've kind of forgotten what's happened... a summary would be good?? :)

Narq.

Nope, this was pretty good. I loved the fight scene between Keleos and Ky...And I knew it! He was the wolf from the beginning! And finally finding out the meaning of the title for the story. Amazing.

Side note: I love creatures that can heal; it means you can do all sorts of horrible things to them and they still walk away from it perfectly fine XD.

I can't wait to see what Michael's reaction to Raphael's experiments and rapid "demonization" is. Great chapter, worth the wait.

Well, I do think that this chapter was pretty good due to the nature of the characters' revelations. I really like the way Ky was changing as a character, but then again, unless I've missed something out, I do think you did that part in a very abrupt way. I remember him donning the wings and taking Tassius for a ride. So I really find it pretty weird to see that he has changed where in fact I've seen nothing to suggest that change in the first place. But then again, it's been a really long time since I've read this story due to the recent lack of updates, so I may have missed something for all I know.

Now the burning question in my brain is whether Matt will turn out good in the end. Quite frankly after going through this story, I do think that the ending may have a certain potential in tragedy, which for some weird reason is something I'll hate to see. In fact I'm actually hoping Ky will play the major good guy role for Matt if anything's to go by.

As for the part on Raphael, well while you did a good job in making him humane, I do think that you could have done so much more in his character exploration. Yeah I know his goals and I don't fault them in a humane way, but then again, I don't actually feel anything for him both in terms of his goals and struggles. And I'm still wondering what's the link between him and the main plot. I just can't establish the defining factor on this part no matter how hard I tried thinking. So yeah, maybe you can enlighten me here.

But I do like the part on Keleos' comparision between demons and primal nature. The whole explanation was pretty interesting albeit I think you could have done so much more on elaborating where the similarities lie instead of just some kind of obscure hinting. Anyway, glad to see you back here again and I truly hope you still remember me throughout your MIA period. ;) And I'm sorry if my criticisms sound harsh here. I don't mean to. It's just that I don't have a way with words. :S

P.S: Just checked and found out that you've missed out on the two recent chapters of The Eternal Grail. Hope to see your reviews for them soon as a pay back for my two reviews here. :)

Add P.S: Wow Noel actually got an upgrade in her ** for BlazBlue: Continuum Shift literally. Good move Arc System Works. :D Okay, I know I'm being horny here, but I'm just posting this statement just for ** and giggles as a BlazBlue fan. :D

Eh, I believe that I've read this chapter before, but then again after looking through this chapter, I believe you've done a rewrite. :) Well basically, I like the way you did the character developments here for Ben and Matt. Basically I can say this is a climax chapter for sure. And I still wonder what's the link between the affairs in the physical world and that of the spiritual side apart from Kyzekel himself. But then again, I doubt Kyzekel's part in the story really had the X-factor in creating an impact within the reader. If you're gunning for a total rewrite in the future, just take note to pay more attention to him. It's like I'm seeing a seventy percent Matt-and-Ben scenes in the plot at the very least, so this is one thing you need to take note. Apart from that, nothing much to say except Matt is so surely going Jin Kisaragi here. And if you don't know who that bugger is, just play BlazBlue and you will know. ;)

Pale as the moon – liked that. Text her during class though? I thought Ben was the good one! Although he is spying on Matt for the adults which is a blurry grey area I suppose. like he was a judging a piece of art that didn't look good – I think that summed up his expression perfectly.
"Your (you’re) weird," Ben said, shaking his head. "But really, how did you find me?"
monsters, of things that you couldn't escape once you got caught up in them. I really like this bit
The other voice thing was kind of weird before I realised it was all in his head. There was a bit where you mentioned he was walking away and I wasn’t sure how he got there. But it did seem like Matt was really zoned out and no longer in the real world so it did make sense.
There were some lovely reactions from Matt in this bit – the bit with not being able to recognise his own voice was creepy. The only explanation I can come up for it happening though is that it’s something to do with Ky…

Hihi, I'm here. :D Matt is much more violent and far more dangerous than before. Mims deserves a nicer owner. RIP, Mims.

Hey, you're back! Yay~
"You are ready to take another life." - :shiver: that was so good! and I'm so scared and intruged, you do so well about these horror things and yet they story goes deep within the human mind.

Ah... I thought this was familiar~ I've already reviewed this chapter. Oh well, it's still good!!

Narq.

It was nice to see Ky again. Although he seems to be getting progressively nastier as this goes on. For a while there I thought there might be a hope of redemption, but now I’m thinking (hoping?) not. I like the comments he makes to Matt as well, it makes him sound a bit like an evil super villain.
Tassius walking into the building was funny. He strikes me as a typical happy do gooder, and his protectiveness of Jessica and his comment about her birthday being controlled was funny.
Will I be lucky enough to buy you lunch? That was cute, and yes, very fluffy.

Matt doesn't have a conscience? that raises some interesting possibilities what with all the angels and demons knocking about.

It was nice to get a bit more background on why he's lik he is as well. Is the lawyer his biological father? From the picture you painted of the step father it doesn't sound like he'd worry too much baout getting Matt out of trouble.

I enjoyed the bit with the band at the begining. Seeing them all paly together gave me a better idea of their personalities. The temp of the songs was reallyw ell done as well.

I loved the bit at the beginning. The description was amazing, and the whole colours changing place made it feel unsteady and rolling. Like that landscape was at sea. It was beautifully surreal and a proper dreamscape. Liked the ‘old boy’ at the end as well. Are these characters the wolf and the man we met in chapter 1?

Well done on the description through smell and sound as well. At first I thought it was just because we were looking over a wolf’s shoulder. I didn’t realise he was actually blind until you mentioned it. The smells really added another dimension to the angels as well – and the way that Raphael’s voice was described. It made him sound more unpleasant than he did when we could see him. And he really does seem like a nasty b*stard.

I like the idea of the devils as ‘Fell’ too. And it was nice to understand that the angels garb give Ky an angelic aura. Before I was just kind of thinking that the angels were too daft to really look past the wings. Or was I being dim?

Really clever introduction! I loved it! Excellent way to introduce your mythology.

Sigh...good ol' Tassius and his naivete. Speaking of which, do they have ghost stories or urban legends in Heaven? Seems like they'd be useful in smartening up the rank-and-file.

Raphael GREW the eyes? Cool.

No...NO! Don't go soft on me now! Stop worrying about the mangled body parts of the dead...you did it for a good reason! You slaughtered nearly a hundred people and only managed to produce six eyes...but to make an omelet, ONE MUST BREAK EGGS!

Much better reaction with "I am not a fell!" We all know you had nothing to do with the Watergate break-in, Raphael. It's okay.

Okay...Michael knows? How'd he find out? It was probably deserving of a scene, especially after Raphael was made out to be Dr. Frankenstein.

Gabrielle's awfully quiet for this scene. I know she can't see, but the "splurching" sound of Raphael gutting Michael should elicit some sort of reaction, shouldn't it?

Ink stained wings! WOOT WOOT!

Um...at the end of that scene, did Gabrielle get the eyes or what?

Hm...I think Keleos needs a build-up scene too. Just a short one where he has his "AHA! There he is!" moment.

Props for shooting Keleos though.

I didn't think you had it in you,
8.Black

Wow, this is one breath-taking chapter.

Some things I picked up: (How unfortunate it came down to this brother) a comma before "brother"

"Flesh wound," lol!

Poor Gabrielle, I feel so sorry for her. And actually, I feel sorry for Raphael too. He seems a decet sort of fella, at least, he's still got his love for his sister. That shows he's not entirely evil although he is quite corrupt.

A very good chapter with indepth feelings indeed.
Great work!
Narq.

Enjoyed the description of the coloured booth about to fall down. And smooth, Ben, very smooth. I’m guessing we’ll be seeing Jessica again as well.

So what does a school keeper do? It sounds odd that Matt would be trusted with anything that involved responsibility – but then he is a very interesting character. Liked the image of Ben getting nervous and edging him up the bank as well.

And Matt being all super villain with his sleek lap top and talking to the hamster. Hehe. It’s nice to know that he’s protective of Ben like that – even if it is in a rather creepy way. Although the story of being dumped by his family explains more about why he’s the way he is.

And the heart was a strange disturbing image. I still like Matt though – even if he is starting to show the more serious side of being a fruit loop. Although that may just make him more interesting.