You should probably take off the italics on everything besides the inner conversations between Vlad and Luna.

"...I staid away..." --Should be stayed. Staid means dull/calm.

"...They’re was pure silence..." --Should be there not they're. Think of they're as they are, so they are was pure silence would not make sense.

"...knowing a woman for..." --Could be the instead of a. Just a minor suggestion.

"...father’s family had you guys find..." --Not really sure what you're trying to say, try rephrasing it a little there.

"...They was a great..." --To me he sounded more upper-class, so wouldn't they are or they were more proper?

Other than this, I LOVE your story with the intensity that is completely uncomprehendable. I look forward to more ;]

--SabRINA

I really like this story.please write more !

This is an interesting story. It all fits together well. Please write more. =]

R&R mine too. =D

hmm. ur grammar is gettin better. im proud. but ur spellin isnt. loll. kyla alreadi went over it? how come i didnt? ohh well. i like it tho. its good.