i have only one thing to say... EPIC WIN!

The story is good, but the Japanese words you throw in there are kinda annoying and unessesary.

it was really good i cant wait to find out what happens next =D

Well that was quite interesting. A lot of crazy stuff has happen in this chapter. But I still read on and I love it.

This certainly was an interesting story. I can't wait to read more.

It's a good story and I enjoy the long chapters. They seem more of a book than of a person just writing them which makes me take it a little more seriously. The only real critique I have is the plot needs to have a little more evidence by now. Other than that though I loved the word choice and story thus far. Keep it up!