It's cute and dorky, and it shows where you were going about a year ago. Not great literature, but you didn't intend it to be. I like to see what aspiring writers did in high school. It was also worth a laugh or two. Nice.

Wow. Awesome. There is no other word that conveys how I feel about this than Awesome. I actually laughed out loud, which I don't normally do when reading, and it was just super simple and super cute. Awesome, just totally wickedly awesome.

Daze

Very nicely written. I see how this could be considered epic poetry instead of fiction, too. I like how you kept the pace, never really going into the characters, just explaining their actions, it's a pretty cool way of writing, and fit this nonsensical piece well.

I wonder, still, though...

What is Victoria's Secrets? xD

Ah, simply amazing. Just funny, random excellence.:)

genius! pure genius! i loved it lol

Haha! This really made my day.

Oh this is awesome! I love it! So very original!

Very clever indeed! With the introduction of each new character I would burst into giggles! A perfect blend of humor and epic-ness. And I do understand why it was placed under fiction instead of poetry... seemed more like a story to me. Anyways, keep up the good work~

I tried to refrain from laughing all the way through because I was in a room full of computers and people but it was super-hard. Joe isn't so much my hero as he is my nemesis. Hey, I wanted to know her "secret" too, lol. Great story. Lucky for Joe General Febreeze had some unexpected set-backs.