I think you'll get that scholarship. This is just amazing. I like how although you're completely in the mind of the main character, very little is given away. You only discover his gender near the very end, you don't know his name, what he looks like, or any of that. It adds to the general feeling of... acceptance? How the details of your life don't really matter, because you're dead, but this realization isn't a bad thing, it just... is. How the examples of different souls passing through hold the same kind of feeling as well, and how you don't know what the virus is until the very end, and then so much comes together. Like the part with the children; I remember hearing about that myth, that having sex with a virgin will cure you of HIV and AIDS, and how it resulted in the sexual abuse of so many children. I also liked how the person writing down the names and such of the souls passing through comes around to that position in such a random manner. That it just kind of happens. There's so much involved, conveyed in this piece, and you manage to tackle such a controversial subject in a calm, meaningful manner.

Okay, now with the (few) criticisms I had:
"I've accepted that I had to die because of HIVs" - I don't think the s and the end of HIVs is necessary, as it's a virus; you wouldn't say "I had to die because of the flus", or "the cancers". I might be wrong in this, but it just seemed incorrect and somewhat distracting to me.
In the section with the seventeen year old that committed suicide, the character states that things change with himself, yet you never really mention exactly what or how things change. Does it contribute to his eventual acceptance of his mortality? Or does the boy's story somehow connect with him, reawakening some of the emotions he's grown numb to? It strikes me as a loose end, in a story that otherwise closes perfectly.
One last thing. This might just be me being nitpicky, but still; in the last sentence "...when I reach the door I step through without vacillation.", that last word seems to break the flow of the rest of the story. It's a bit awkward (to be honest, I had to look up it's meaning, heh), and just doesn't suit the level of vocabulary used in the rest of the story. Almost like you threw it in for the sake of having a big word. I will say, now that I know what it means, I do like it, but it just seems to stick out a bit, if you know what I mean.

Altogether an awe-inspiring piece of writing, it really demonstrates your talent. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about =) I love it!

I think I'd like this better if the virus wasn't HIV; when I was reading it, I pictured the virus as like a sort of epidemic type thing (which, I know, HIV is, and honestly, it makes sense--but I really just liked the virus nameless). Basically, I'd prefer if you never mentioned the name of the virus at all--it gives this more of a supernatural feel, if that makes any sense at all. I'm pretty sure this is coming out all wrong.

Besides that, though, absolutely loved this. Amazing job :)

"endless beep" - I love that for some reason. I felt like I was holding the words and stretching them across time.

"‘I’m not dead. That’s just not possible. I exercised every day. Everyday! And, and I took the medicine. There isn’t anything I didn’t do!’" - yeah, just no.

The theme is just...fascinating. I get so absorbed in stuff like this, and I liked how you managed to allow the deceased to have all died from a single cause, whilst maintaining a degree of variation, so it didn't get boring and whiny.

I like how the boy who killed himself is charismatic. I like how there's a mystery about him. I like it all.

"‘My kids, oh God, what about my kids?’" - angsty and a little annoying. Try something more bewildered.

I love Mother characters btw. I love the minor details. I like trapped and domesticated people, and their stories. I don't think we got so much of that, but that's not what the point of your piece was xD. I just thought I'd let you know.

The ending...I can't pick a particular quote. It was kind of a climax of emotion. I just

Wow.

I was going to write something really in-depth and helpful and, um, stuff, but all I have to say is wow. This is amazing. I feel really...honoured to have read it. It feels like I got a look at the inside of this person's head.