"They see sprigs of green; spring litters the ground,
Naïve faith sewn fast in their gauzy clothes.
If brittle grass cannot stay the icebound
Season, the children will be forced to doze"

Wow, this whole stanza is so eloquent, especially the part about their faith. It's just so smooth and vivid and gorgeous!

"Forever, juxtaposed with red, skinned knees
And blank white of open eyes, a symbol:
Baby boughs breaking as true nature frees
From subfusc hues while their eyelids tremble"

Hm, I have mixed feelings about this stanza. You have some great imagery here, but I feel that some of it is a bit distorted for the sake of rhyme, or at least not as clear as it could be. It's mostly just line two and four, though. They rhyme, but it just feels off.

"She stands a beacon, holding siblings tight,
Yet can’t see past her own weakening light."

I love these last lines. They're clear and simple and wrap everything together nicely. In fact, I feel they make the piece.

Beautiful work. This really makes me want to try reading more poetry with such elaborate structures.

I really liked the word choice of this piece. Each word complimented the other very nicely and made the flow smooth. Also, I think rhyming was the way to go with this. It gave it that "a long, long time ago" feel to it. Nicely done.

ooh, I love! This is touching. The rhyme scheme changes at te end in a very nice way that works for the poem! Great, Julia! I adore your work!!

Love,
~Dia