This looks really good and original. I can't wait to read more of it.

Haha, you really like twisting the afterlife, don't you?

Judging by how much I loved your fanfic, I'm really interested to see where this one goes. I've seen plently of ghost stories on this site, but already yours has a hint of originality to it.

[Then, I realize I'm one of them. Crap.] Nice almost introductory line. It shows a lot of his/her character and subtly, yet clearly lets the reader know that this is actually a human.

Also, his/her little speach about death was interesting. Like the line I just pointed out, the tone tells a lot about the character, and the content shows how much she's been through.

Well, that's about all I can find to comment on so far. No spelling grammar errors I could find, and no weird quirks in the text or anything.

I'd love to see where this goes :D

~Hakepaw from FFN

This was AWESOME! You MUST continue!