|Reviews for Shift|
| Revamp 5/17/13 . chapter 125
More nice character development from Yumi and another disagreement between Seiji and Ayumi. I knew thier opinions would clash several times. I still wonder who is speaking to Yumi telepathically and what thier aim is for helping her.
| Revamp 5/17/13 . chapter 124
It seems that the Atlantean soldiers are slowly figuring out our heros. So far it's mostly a new spin on information with development of the Atlanean characters. Right now I'm trying to figure out each of the characters in this chapter and thier personal motives.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 123
It's nice to see that everyone is back together. All of thier different levels of experience was present here as well as a bolder attitude from Yuki. I wonder where Yoriis though.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 122
I like this show down. We learn a lot about Yuki's powers, as we have other cast members. He's had a nice shining point since he toughened up, but I wonder what will happen now that someone has lived to tell about his effective powers and smart moves in battle.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 121
This chapter was a nice break from the action. Yuki continues to make me laugh with his commentary and out of story jokes.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 120
I'm glad Seiji was rescued. His interactions with Chiharu are always funny. The rest of Seiji's flashback have depth not only to him but Yuki's as well.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 119
I always wondered about Seiji's younger self and his trials and tribulations. His past was sad, and in many aspects, I can see how he and Yuki became such good friends. They both have similar pasts with the lack of parents and being bullied.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 118
Poor Seiji. Looks like he's having to face loss and a part of his past he had buried. I loved his fight scene, even if he lost it was a powErful battle for 0oth sides, emotionally and physically. There was also that part where Seiji was able to lift objects from an opponent's field. That intrigues me.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 117
I like Seiji's fighting style, now that I can read it without summary, it fits him very well. This chapter was a fun read. I especially liked thier language barriers and the part at the end with the splintering wood had to be painful. What fate will befall Seiji this time? He sure does have the worst luck getting himself caught.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 116
Yumi was certainly put through hell but her battle w%th Photine was wonderful. I like her displayof power and her inner struggle with the voice in her head. I wonder who exactly it was that helped her out.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 115
Yumi continues to grow in mentality and power. I see that her control is becoming better and she's growing as a fighter. Nice action and development of both she and Phontine.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 114
It's nice to see Seiji on screen, since that was his running joke in earlier chapters. The chapter was full of action and I read it straight through without pausing and I'm at work atm. Things are slow so I'm hiding out on my phone. XD well, on to the next chapter.
| Revamp 5/16/13 . chapter 113
This chapter left off on a cliff hanger note, but I think Yuki and Yumi will be alright. They have both grown substancially as characters. Her brother's thoughts on her as well as Yuki's awareness of Eudokia has served as backup on that.
| Guest 5/16/13 . chapter 112
I like the depth of characterization done to Demosthenes in this chapter. The more I read on him, the more intruiging he is to me. I want to know his motive, drive and beliefs. This chapter also gives insight to a few other Atlanteans who are against our heros as well. I'm looking forward to the future chapters now that I can catch up properly again.
| Senshi Sun 4/28/13 . chapter 2
Hey there! It's been a bit of a while, but I wanted to come back and review again.
I read a bit of chapter 188 for style, and my guess has been confirmed. You do get better with time, in fact, you get a lot better with time. Not really much else to say but my mantra from last review: "It's been four years."
I really did not feel like reading your update blurb even though told me to. It has all the hallmarks of a new writer who doesn't know what they're doing yet. It encourages me to forget about everything I learned in the last chapter, because it's all going to change here. I posit a question: If the story actually starts with this chapter, why not start with this chapter? This chapter can get us invested just as well as the last one did.
The answer is: You were new at the time and didn't know what you were doing. That's okay. It's perfectly normal. In the first fanfic I wrote I was a terrible cannon-thumping mess and made myself sound like a pretentious brat. (My regular stories just had illogical plots.) I am in the process of re-editing that chapter to remove the pretentiousness.
Anyway, the story proper starts with the same scene that opened the pilot- Champion Yuki being praised for defending the castle. Then he hears a female voice calling to him.
"The entire world went black suddenly washing away as though it had all been freshly painted pealing way under the pressure of water. All that he could see was the black void around him and then a narrow line of light that slowly widened revealing his bedroom ceiling and his older sister, Momoko's brown eyes staring over him."
I love this bit. The description is perfect, creating wonderful imagery in my mind. The fact you had Momoko wake him up this time instead of Ayumi was a nice touch. I think it makes more sense having someone that he connects to waking him up. At the same time, Momoko's eyes should not be staring over him. Momoko is standing or leaning over him, her eyes are probably staring at him. The preposition "over" feels a bit awkward where you placed it.
Momoko's interaction with Yuki is just plain fun. The siblings' personalities are clearer than they were in the last chapter. Momoko and Yuki seem a lot more realistic now. Ken and Jun have different personalities, which makes them more interesting. Saki comes in much later here, but she's more clearly established. I know I praised the last chapter for being a good introduction to the characters, but with this one, they feel more complete. These characters are more like real people.
I enjoyed the plot for this one much more than the last one. This chapter takes its time. The pilot really felt rushed, with all the characters and events you were trying to cram in. Here, everything is established when it needs to be, making the characters more three-dimentional and giving Yuki more time to play with his daydreams/powers. I really found the trees falling to be more interesting than Yuki's powers in the last chapter. This is showing its full potential. I can't wait to read more!
And now, a short rant about updates:
I'm surprised you've been able to keep the story going that long with an average of 3000 words per chapter and keep a regular update schedule. Obviously, the word count is skewed up because of author's notes, updates, and the like, but I would never be able to keep a story running for so long. Four years! How do you do that? If you want to take a break from this story, could you please write an essay on how to update regularly. I really need to use your tricks.