I really love all your similies. They are creative, powerful and fitting. The only thing is I think it's a bit much. I wish you would take one and go into more detail with it instead of throwing them all together like this. Also, I think those last lines were a bit long. Still, it's a really great piece. An awesome description of the situation and a funny title.

I like this one. Great opening and apt considering this poem kept pulling me in. Every image is seared onto my retina right now. I'm glad to see you're still going at it.

aw. so sweet. excellent!