Wow. You really have a way with words and descriptions. The way you put language together, even in such a short piece, just comes across as poetic.

I think this would make a great first chapter for a fantasy novel.

Aww...that's depressing. :(

It flowed really good, though. It's kinda like I felt like I was standing there, watching.

It's a very well written piece. Congratulations.

Oh wow, this was great I liked the way you did a story, but with a poem taste to it.. am I making any sense?

oh well, it's nice all the same

Narq.