I do like this story a great deal, as I said in a review earlier. (Although now I'm paying for it, because wow did I not get enough sleep.) One thing, in this particular chapter, though, James tells the human deligation that he'll only meet with them after he's received a written letter of intent. Jeeves mentioned earlier that it's illegal for humans to be literate. Was James just sick and tired and not thinking it through or was he being intentionally difficult. It seemed unlike him.

Wow. Just wow. Possibly I would have a better and more detailed review to leave if I hadn't just stayed up all night in order to read this in one go. I will now go to bed before I get sucked into any of your other stories. I noticed that this was your earliest one, but I hope you do continue it some day. There's all this mounting tension as the day approaches when the rifles will be ready, when James learns that Jared is in the Summerlands, and when Big Things Happen.

I don't have an account here so I can't fave this or whatever, but it's fantastically entertaining, and the plot and the interesting characters completely hooked me. Also, props for James's dialogue and characterization in general - the realness and relatability of both convinced me in the earliest chapters that I'd better keep reading.

What?!?!

I want to know why this story only has 20sum reviews. What the heck? I LOVE your world! Why aren't people reviewing?! Ugh. I think you must be deleting their reviews or people got scared away with the "beware of typos, but I'm not fixin' nothin' till I'm done" warning at the beginning (that almost made me turn around since I'm horribly-type-filled-writing phobic).

Anyways, in the first couple chapters I was all gun-ho (sp?) for Ynyr to fall for James and realize that Tarlach was a power-maniac bastard, but *shrugs* I think I just like quirky Eamon. Still, I don't think I'd be too upset if Tarlach spontaneously combusted...erk, no offense. Heh.

But the more I read about James the more I grow to love his personality. He takes no shit. I love it; I'm the exact same way. lol, hell, alot of is "random" cussing phrases are ones that I use habitually. Kinda sad. I have an eloquent vocabulary at the ready, if I should choose to use it, but sometimes "damn straight" just caries the meaning so much more efficiently. (sp? damn, i know the words but I cant spell for shit.)


Anyways, just wanted to let you know that I lve your story, an deffinitely favoriting it, andcan't wait until your next upload!

Thanks so much for posting this!
Miranda

So..I just spent all night and day other than going to class, reading this story. I'm so sad that I've read all of what was posted, and that there aren't more chapters added. I do hope that you'll post more chapters soon. It's a pretty amazing job for a 'writing everything without changing anything' all-in-one-go story. It's good for a story in general. Now I'm going to go read your other stories

so i'm kind of cheating by reviewing on a different chapter, but i was looking through your other reviews and thought of a slight issue i thought i should mention.

shy7cat mentioned having some trouble with the bloodwood three and i agree that they're a bit underexplained. i remember some of the elves saying "by three" or something similar, but it is never really explained what that three are- or if they are even real. it put me in mind of exclamations like 'by hercules!' or 'by jove!' that i run across in ancient texts, where such objects of exclamation are usually regarded as some higher power or divinity.

i didn't think to mention this before because once i begin to understand something that was previously problematic, it kind of drops off my radar. but i am still wondering a bit about their place in the world order- as shy7cat said, are they gods? is karil's ability to manipulate the world around him unique to him and those over whom he holds sway, or is it a property of his actual environment? the way the bloodwood three are referenced, they simply sound like denizens of the world you've built, albeit slightly more powerful and unstable than the other races.

i'm not saying that you should include some sort of explication of their purpose or role in your cosmology, because i am wholeheartedly a reader who would prefer to be shown rather than told, but perhaps a few more references earlier in the story that implicitly convey more about them would be useful. as it is, when the story switches over the jared [which i will also say was a bit jarring and confusing] the three are introduced rather abruptly and seem a bit out of place with the rest of the storyline. i enjoyed it and it was nice to see that you didn't completely discount what would have happened in the human world when james went missing, but given your deft touch explaining politics and engineering-related issues, i have no doubt that you are capable of smoothing out the wrinkles in this story. ;)

good gods, man. this is fantastic. i stumbled across it the other day looking for something new to sink my teeth into on fp [and it has subsequently eaten a large chunk of my life that should have been more productive than it was]. it seemed interesting from the start, but it has vastly outweighed my expectations for it. i had honestly hoped it was finished, since i noticed it hasn't been updated since you published it, but i'm kind of glad it's not, because you've created such a rich and engaging story that it would be a shame to see it finished off prematurely.

i am an utter sucker for fairytale-fantasy meets modern world, but the way you've brought the modern into the fantasy is spectacular. and i'm seriously in love with some of your characters. despite that james is often an unmitigated jackass, i really enjoy him. his curiosity and depth of analysis is really fantastic. and eamon has quickly climbed his way to the absolute top of my list of favorites. i really want an eamon of my own, so quirky and adorable. and jeeves is absolutely priceless. i'm a little sad that ynyr has more or less fallen out of the story voice, but i understand that he has'nt necessarily had much to do with the plot in recent chapters. and i actually ended up liking jared more than i thought i would, given the beginning with him and james. i think those two are better off apart, even if it ended badly.

anyhow, i'm seriously hoping that you will pick this story back up when you've got the time, because it is one of the best written and most engaging stories i've had the fortune to find. it's verging on becoming a stunning epic, which i am totally qualified to judge, being a classical lit major. i will love you forever if you finish this someday [preferably sooner than later, but i understand time constraints and real life]. please, please, please tell me this hasn't completely fallen by the wayside.

I really love this story. I am horrified and amazed you've only gotten 16 reviews. The pacing in your story is done very masterfully, and the war and politics is done in such a way that I can follow and comprehend, but not really anticipate the next move.
The characters are complex and diverse, though I would like to get to see more of the other races at the rebel base. Even if it's just a small little POV exercise, I love getting at things from all angles. I feel like James has changed quite a bit from how we first saw him. I can't quite tell if the change was unnatural or not, but when you made it you stuck to it. His personality isn't as unsteady as it was at first.

I can't think of anything else right now, but I'll let you know.

Any way, really interesting story. I love it, please keep up the good work and update soon!!

Oh man that was AMAZING! I love James and Eamon! They're so cute. I really can't say much about Jared and Day and in my opinion, it seems too sidestory-ish right now...And cause I sort of want Jared out of the picture for Eamon and James to have a happily-ever-after sort of thing. AH and James, he's so wickedly smart and I love him so much...

Everything has been wonderful so far so PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

'"If you can't keep them busy," he said with a ruthless smile, "I'm sure Cairo can. I bet it's been a while since this floor got swept." He made his escape while she was still looking around in dismay at the curly, razor-sharp metal shavings that made drifts under every workbench in the machining area. They tended, he knew from experience, to grasp the broom bristles and cling to the floorboards, then suddenly spring loose with a nasty little 'ping!' and scatter maliciously into the area one has already swept. He was delighted that it was no longer his job to clean them up.'

I was thinking--what about a flat wooden scoop-like thing instead of a broom? It would just push instead of sweep. that way the shavings wouldn't catch at the bristles and jump away. after the shavings were clear they could use a regular broom for regular dust.

I did read your "You don't put a 'squee' in the slot and get a chapter out." and I wouldn't want to imply... that you'd... maybe put this story (more like a novella) on permanent hold... but I'd really like to see more of it.
I remember you posted (on Metanoia's LJ) that this was the point where things were finally coming together and now was when things would get awesomesauce (okay, maybe you said it differently). That's completely true! Everything's wound up and running and it seems like it's ready to get places, but there's no-one in the driver's seat anymore...
I understand that you're working on "Jack Saturday" right now (which I'm sure I'll get into) but please take a look back at Summerlands again, if only to post that it's on hiatus.

As much as I hate to say it because it might actually happen and I might not be able to read the whole story anymore, Publish it! Publish It!! PUBLISH IT!

:)

Some paragraphs are out of POV. In James POV, Eamon will do something because... How would James know why? This happens several times.

When you flipped to Eamon's POV I realized who he was from context, but I had entirely forgotten his first name. A few more mentions of it might help.

Jared's arrival was abrupt, but if the story was Book 1 (or what have you) about James, then Book 2 about Jared, etc. It wouldn't be that bad, but maybe flipping back and forth would be better. In some books the story lines don't meet up until near the end, but at the moment it feels like you simply stopped writing one story and started another, then went back to the first.

The characters are fascinating. James can do anything he puts his mind to, but he isn't too perfect (the tears and all). Ynyr maybe an arrogant prince, but he's got a good heart. I thought Tarlach was going to be a bad guy before I got to know him, but he surprised me (One can never tell if someone is rebelling for the right reasons until their motivation is clear). And Eamon is just plain adorable. I liked him from the first moment I saw him.

I really hope you finish this at some point, but even if you don't, I won't feel that the time I spent reading it was wasted.

Feels like cheating to leave a comment on my own story, but the below review really needs a reply, and it wasn't signed so I can't reply privately.

The 'house servant' humans are brown because they're intensively interbred from all the humans (of various races) the elves have kidnapped over the aeons. They're moon-faced because they basically have Down's Syndrome.

I'm thinking I should probably explain that in-story when I get to edits. It just didn't occur to me that anyone would think I was referring to any real-world racial group. Oops!