i loved it ^.^!!i hope u write more to this one!

lol. definitely loved it! XD

I really like the story, although there are a few flaws with the French:

It is either "mon chéri" or "ma chérie", in this case, as it is spoken to a male, it should be "mon chéri", without the "e" at the end.

Saying "pour l'amour de Dieu" feels very constructed, directly translated from English, since it's an expression. I would use something like "mon Dieu" instead...

It's "l'effet" since "e" is a vowel.

Also, the frase "le effet à sonette" strikes me as wrong. I'm not sure, my French is far from perfect (I take French as a third language), but I think it should be "l'effet du serpente à sonettes" (the effect of a snake with rattles). In any case "le effet à sonette" I think would translate into something like "the effect on rattle".

Other than the French grammar (and French is one hellish language when it comes to grammar, not even the French themselfs understands the grammar fully...) I really, reallt like the story.
Keep the good style up!

xoxo

S

Aw, very cute couple! (Though technically not a couple...)


Still, perfect!