wooh! love it :]
hope you update^^

.. I swear, I might end up making an account here sooner or later to keep track of this story, hah! *Shot*

Oh crud, I love Yuukio. xD Such a brash lad, haha!

Not a bad story at all. I rather like your original idea and take on the guardian scenario. Actually, in Satanism everyone believes that you have a guardian demon or evil spirit and in some religions they often believe that you have a good guardian angel and a bad guardian or dark angel.

I only have one critisism really and that's to add a little more detail to your dialouge so it doesn't seem so much like a glorified role play. Giving description on how a character says something or what they are doing as they as it gives readers more of a glimpse into your character's character so to speak.

I had a hard time with that as well but I think you can pull it off. If you'd like or have the time, you can feel free to check out some of my works.

Good luck on this fiction, you have a very original idea and I hope to see you update soon!

waah! dammit! total cliff hanger!! x3 haha! lol! you did a very good job..it's very detailed and you can imagine what's hapening throughly! the words aren't that hard to understand and you not overly detailed..just what i've been finding in a fiction! please keep this standard and please post the 2nd chapter :3


-ARMALITE18♥

As I'm lazy to make a FictionPress account .. xDD;;

wo0t, you had it published! xDD

So far so good, yeah. Am excited to see how this will flow. =3

~ Hk

(as is my name on fanfiction)
:3

Really nice development so far, the way you use details is really nice because it pulls you right into the scene, you make it sound really realistic. I want the next chapter dammit!!