Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: last year
Jesse the Storyteller 2008-12-27 . chapter 1
This poem makes less sense than the last one, hahaha. I wish you had some clarity - I'd rather like to know what is going on in your brain.

"i'm / running / too / fast" is a nice stanza. The one word on each line thing really gives it more impact. :)

I don't like how short this poem is. It's too short to make a whole lot of sense, and clarity is what it lacks the most. :(

-Jesse
Attack of the review marathon! (link in profile)
Isca 2008-12-23 . chapter 1
"I'm running too fast." I could almost hear someone running--their breathing ragged, their steps forced. Good emotion and imagery here! :)
SomeoneToLove 2008-12-23 . chapter 1
wow. This is amazing. I love how it has so much emotion in so few words. And I LOVE how you do the last bit on four different lines. It gives a much better impact than if you'd had it all on the one line...:D

Amazing.
fatbird33 2008-12-23 . chapter 1
nice. i know how you feel. i liked what you did with the last stanza!
AStrangerToYou 2008-12-23 . chapter 1
Loved it. And the way you use every word, like every one is important. Wow. :)
Return to Top