So many questions! But it was really amazing and the ending gave me a sense of closure but also that there was so much more to this story. Strange, right? But anyway I really liked this story. It had complex characters and plot. At some points it felt a little slow but I mostly see how they fit in. Wonderful to read :)

LavW

I just figured out why there're seven of them and their names. Hana, that is so cool. Now the story & their persionalities make much more sense.

LavW

This was a good story! I was a little frustrated with Faerie, though. She was really gullible, believing everything everyone told her at the time they told her. Is there a sequel? I guess I will have to go to your profile and find out.

Great story, a lovely mix of historical and fantasy elements. Though it is sad that Alphonse left, I believe it's for good, their relationship seems very premature and naive. In fact when I first read it, I was deeply reminded of the Secret Garden. Faerie has also twisted her perspective slightly on his leaving, since I discovered there to be a sequal, I'm guessing he did come back (well to London anyway) in the end hopefully their relationship will resolve then.

On the whole, I thought the mystery of the story was extremely well done, I was so confused and I'm glad not everything was given away until the very end.

Thank you! On with the sequal!

Read this whole thing and it was amazing! Off to read your sequel, which I'm sure will be just as enthralling. Can't wait to see what becomes of everyone :)

“Hoping it would be okay with you if I took a stroll around the property. “ - I think in the context of your story her use of ‘okay’ felt too modern. In my head I’m seeing this as a late Victorian era, or a precursor to the industrial revolution. Okay wouldn’t be in use yet.

“I would make sure to stay within seeing distance of Deathcreeke.” - I love how ominous, and foreboding the name ‘deathdreeke’ is.

I feel like sometimes with this story you list details off, rather then explaining them in a natural organic way, which can be a bit distracting, but I like how you create mystery and suspense with what’s going on.

Much love,

Juliet.

The Morgensterns are all an interesting bunch of people; I’m glad that you’ve monopolized their characterizations, and the lore of myth surrounding them. They have some strange names though…

I liked how you explained the strange tune that she’s been hearing lately, it makes me think even more strongly that there’s some sort of ghost/hidden captive in the Wainright’s house.

Much love,

Juliet.

“To make me forget the distance that now lay between me and Mother.” - Maybe mother and I would sound better…

“I sobbed quietly while the fire in my room crackled and crackled merrily.” I liked how you transferred emotion with this sentence. Your use of ‘merrily’ was especially strong, it makes me think of boisterous flames, and a deep slow cracking, and wood smoke. And I liked how you paired it with the act of Fiona sobbing on the bed. The whole scene was very well done.

When you first mentioned the forbidden corridor I was sure that you were going for a whole Jane Eyre, secret family member locked away in the attic thing. But with the introduction of the portrait I now think you’re going to be dealing with a ghost, or maybe both…. I’m definitely intrigued.

Much love,

Juliet.

“The woman who lay in the coffin looked her.” - like her? not like her?

Interesting first start! One thing that bothered me was how drawn out a lot of this was. True, it is an opening, which by definition implies long introductions and exits. But it seemed like you spent a lot of time describing things that were not vital to the actual story. Don’t get me wrong I like the story so far, but taking a more then a few sentences to describe something or someone can get tedious.

I like how whimsical this is. I’m thinking this is set in Victorian times - just from the image I’m getting in my head. And Victorianisms are so structured and chased, yet Fiona and Fiona jr. seem to Elvin-like and jolie-faire, it’s a strong comparison.

I also liked how you utilized ‘rain’ as a third character - it only helps to strengthen the notion that these women are otherworldly in charm and spirit.

Much love,

Juliet.

hiya

a great story and i loved every bit of it. The ending seemed sad but sometimes change can be that way. I love how there was no curse and it all tied in really well.

Thank you for writing this and posting it.

Angel

You're story was truely wonderful. I loved the outcome... It's really hard to express my apprecation for it in words.

I can't wait to read the sequel, and have stayed up nearly all night reading this. Again, thanks so much for the bit of light in the abyss that fictionpress has become.

I have no words to describe my appreciation for this story. You are a wonderful writer.

This chapter was amazing.

"...living at Deatchreeke Manor..." You switched around some of the letters in Deathcreeke. I fear that there might have been typos in the pervious chapter, but I was too enchanted with your storytelling that I missed them!

I loved her interaction with Isaac. Faerie can be quite manipulative.

I'm starting to think that the seven deadly sins have something to do with the Morgensterns.

Alphonse's character really surprised me. I very much enjoyed this chapter.