Definately worth the wait! I love this story so much ^^ Very well done, simply flawless.

Good descriptions regarding the dead body. I felt sick reading it :/ Very "ew".

"Behind his partner, a dark shape loomed, silent and insidious.
Vanessa leaned back on the couch"
Oops, you forgot to insert a scene break between these two lines.

"The line was dead. She swore and gently set it back on its hook.
“Becky, are you okay?” came Diana’s voice."
Same here. In fact you have several places where you switch scene but you don't have a scene breaker like you did in the first chapter. It's confusing.

Anyways: Awesome chapter. I loved the horror aspect but also the end. Very touching. Jackie's my fav so far, haha. I hope they survive this ghoul attack.

Keep it up!

Frac

"Thin[,] unpainted lips"

"and a sad smile facing the heavens"
making a sad smile, maybe? As it is, it doesn't read well.

"Chairs scrapped across"
scraped?

"was indeed, unique"
Unnecessary comma.

"Jackie nodded[,] seeming"
I think that's how its supposed to be.

Anyways!
Very nice chapter! The characters are so vivid and the whole story has a realistic feel to it. I sympathize with Rebecca the most I think, and feel sorry for Jackie the most. It's going to be interesting to see how things turn out! :D

- Frac
((from the Review Game))

I am so taken aback by how much I was able to by into this story. Although it is fiction, there are so many realateable aspects throught the story. If it is possible, this chapter is even better than the last. Bravo Sinful, you have truely outdone yourself.