Well, I liked it. And I like the little shout out to Elizabeth Browning (Or Roger Rabbit, but I'm going with Browning). Verah Nyce.

I like the meaning of this a lot. It's so raw and true, I can just hear a guy talking.

But that has a bad side, too. The tone and wording is very plain and converstational, which makes this a bit plain as a poem. Maybe spice up the wording a bit?

Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)