He was a paradox captured in human form. (That's really, really good.)

Are the horses mares or geldings? Mares would be "she" and geldings would be "he." I don't suppose Stephen would have Jade riding a stallion, although Jade could definitely handle a spirited horse! (I want a guy to give me a horse...and on the first date too! LOL)

I like Stephen very much (the whole brown-hair-falling-into-eyes thing pretty much had me from the beginning) but it's a little strange that Luke seems more of a background character in this story. Maybe that'll change? I have a feeling that he has a good head on his shoulders and would be able to see straight through Seren's facade. Did I just spoil the plot for myself? No, wait, don't tell me.

I do wish I could have seen more of their relationship develop, but I totally understand your not really enjoying writing romance. It just seemed almost more like Jade and Luke have something more to work with (that's not the right phraseology; forgive me. I've had a long day and am basically exhausted but am going to finish the chapter before bed!) because they went through such a horrible ordeal together. But I guess that's not always the way it works! Ah well, I hope I see more of Stephen in the rest of the story. (Can he get me a pony? 'Cause if he can, then he's got my vote)

Hey, I never got to ask - what happened to Gawain in the last story? He just sort of...disappeared. Hm. Maybe I missed something and needed to read it. But I liked him. Did you name him after King Arthur's nephew? (I had to read "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight" for English Lit this year)

All right, so who were those people? If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Seren somehow organized and orchestrated that whole thing...

Wow, THREE different guys...this could be interesting. The doctor seems nice, but I like Luke better (although, the whole hair-flopping-into-eyes reminds me of my favorite fictional character).

Nice way to scare me at the very beginning, BTW. I guess I'm still a little jumpy from the Twelve in the last story. Thank goodness it was just the sheriff!

Now why do I feel like Jade's going to be deceived by this Seren fellow?

"After a few moments, the darkness fled to a soft, orange glow." I love the imagery here, but I think it should be "fled from."

I really really like this story so far. I think all of your characters are enchanting and are very realistic. I like Luke and the doctor and Jade seems like a very smart and sweet person. I like how you linked all the townspeople together as well and put in the mystery of the new "revolutionaries".
I wonder what that spiritual storm part at the beginning was all about. It all just makes me wonder and want more.
You've got a whole lot of positive stuff here and the writing is really well put together. Just update really soon because this is awesome.