loved ur fic

loved it ;)

It was entertaining in the sense of "sweet and short". I loved quite a few of his sentences and the way he perceived things, once again, your style of writing here was really interesting.

I'm just a bit sad because the story seems unfinished. I didn't find the ending satisfying. Not that they had to be a couple or something, but I just expected something more.

Awesomeness story! Really nice way to use the challenge. Never seen something even similar to this...

Aw, okay, this was a really cute one shot.
I enjoyed reading it!
The editing was really good, cause I didn't see any mistakes that were horrible.
I've always wanted to do this challenge response.
Again, good story!
:)

-Rachel
PS: Now I really want some bubble gum! ;)

I understand the openning line requirements, and I think it sets the stage. However, the first three paragraphs make the same point. I think you could delete some of this since I felt a bit like you were hitting me over the head. I actually rolled my eyes.

I would suggest that you move the "Just out of the blue one day" paragraph up to set the context sooner.

And in that paragraph I think you have a typo: There were at least three sits between them (seats?)

I loved the ending -- particularly the "score". Very clever way to make a point and a bit true to life.

Nice job! I really like how the end gave a lot of room for the reader to make up what they want to think; maybe the gum popping DID still annoy the guy--or maybe it didn't! Hahaha. definitely a fun read. I liked your descriptions and the interaction between the characters. :) There were a couple conventional things I noticed, but they were small and almost unnoticeable. Good job!

Nice, I liked it. It's really fun to read, for some reason, and is written in this light way that puts a smile on your face.

I really liked it!! Congrats!

I actually like how they *didn't* end up as a couple. This was cute and very, very entertaining. Their reactions to each other are awesome. (: This was delightful and I loved it, and throw some serious love to the wicked monkey for adding this to our c2. (:

Very funny! I love the fact that her chewing bubblegum turns him on, but he doesn't do anything about it; exscept stare, of course. Such a typical boy, even though he's a loner and all. :D

-toffeecakesxox.

Cute and funny! Poor kid will be seeing pink and hearing popping in his sleep. Haha!

Cute..I wish there was more, but good job!! :) Good luck with SkoW. :)

I really liked the way you showed their different aspects. Like, the both of them couldn't really be classified in a group, cause people aren't really like that in real life. I thought the whole fic was quite well written, following the prompt and all(: But I thought the last bit when they separated seemed too overused... As in '“Hey pinkie!” Her noticed her shoulders tense but regardless she turned around at the sound of his shouting out to her with one hand on her hip and a bemused expression. “I really hate pink bubblegum.”' I think with your writing, you could come up with something better(: Not meant to offend you in any way...

Woah. I really liked that story. It was engrossing, riveting and rather funny. I liked the chick; she was different. I also liked th fact that you didn't use any names. That was a real nice touch. Good job. :D


^.^ DeeDee ^.^

"Her blond hair was usually let lose."

Should be loose right?

Hahaha, that was pretty amusing. I liked the way you characterized the main character, though, I don't see why the girl would be so touchy about him staring at her if she basically invaded on corner. Yes, it's not technically a crime, but in the unwritten laws of social etiquette, it's enough to stare at someone for that.

Nice job. (: