hey. I thought this was really well written. I really liked all of your descriptions and I thought they added to the story. This was my favorite "he man is so gray and plain that he reminds me of a senile mouse I found once that had managed to drown itself in the toilet." I really could see that and I actually started laughing when I read it!

My only suggestions (dislike-ish) is that the words you picked in school should not be italicized. I feel they should be bold so that we know it is what you chose. Also sometimes italicized words give more feeling and I felt this could be bolded instead.

:)

omgoodness...that was one BEAUTIFUL tragic story...i felt his sorrow and the futility of the situation and ack! yea! awesome job =) LOVED it! despite wanting to cry at the end XD

fantastic job =)