I love this:) Beautifully written and very descriptive. It flowed perfectly. And I don't think that it was too dark. There's a difference between dark and depth. This has depth.

Write on!

it is good. especially for a ten year old. is it possible in this point in time for a ten year old not to be dark? our whole society encourages tv and video games full of death, how else do we expect the next generation to turn out?