"A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding gift a reader can give . Please use this golden opportunity to offer a well deserved praise and/or tips for improvement."

Deserved Praises: yay to Bold Text 8D

Tips: Stay away from Joseph.

I really like this, and think the way you wrote it is wonderful.

But she, the girl, doesn't sound like a five year old.

And I doubt that a five year old would start to have "feelings" or stuff like that for any guy.

I just think you should make her older. ten-ish or something.

Other than that, this was intruiging to read.

The summary was very simple, and that's what reeled me in.

kthnxbai,

Martin the Waterskier

This was executed so well it disturbed me. I want to think of this man as a Perv but he doesn't really do anything to her to make him so.. I just cant fathom someone having an intimate connection to someone so much younger with nothing in common. I think you should explore their characters more and write more!

that was really touching (