This was intriguing and I found myself attached to it even though it is not something I have personally experienced.
Well done.

i REALLY love your poetry!

I love poems with internal religious battles. Internal demons and angels

beautiful beautiful beautiful

"peaks through the mountains, awash in the amber pink of dawn"...peeks

In the third part it seemed like of the sudden there was a rhyme scheme. That struck me as quite odd. The piece itself was interesting. I really liked one and three. Those had the best images and word choices.

I LOVE the concrete images in this poem. They're so real to me - I can feel the wet, the dry, hear the screaming. "Carcasses of meaning," "bullet-words," "fancy-type," and "needle of your pen" are really wonderful images.

However, I'm a stickler for unneeded repetition - it demeans your poem and makes your readers take you less seriously. In the time and space it took you to write "should have" three times, you could have added more interesting imagery that could make your poem a phenomenon.

Don't cheat yourself with other poets' conventions.

~Effervescent-Sentiments

Beautiful and painful.
You certainly have a lot of talent going on.

Definitely favoring. :)

"...like carcasses of meaning." I love this simile.

"Exaltations for no God." Wow! Profound!

"Jesus Christ can't save me now." Full of angst!