 Rue Marie 2009-01-04 . chapter 1Agh, you added more depth than I ever intended there to be.
I adore writing when it is subtly vague, and when you write, you are so...blunt.
In any case, I disliked the snow analogy because it seemed too easy and obvious and you also used "solitary pine" twice.
All that critique aside, you made it sound very real, perhaps a little too modern (as it your writing style, though).
But it was cute to read and used up a bit of my idle time, which I have quite a lot of...because I am exceedingly boring.
Love. |
 Jessie My Love 2009-01-04 . chapter 1Wow, that was great.
At first I thought it would be just another cliche, but the way you wrote this made it have so much more depth. I loved the POV considering your characters were all very realistic. :]
I didn't notice any typos or anything, but I wasn't really reading to edit.
Anyways, good job~
--Jessie my l o v e
p.s. pay it forward |