"to innocence in phrases that grew into unruly/teenagers - like us all over again."... I felt like "like us" should have a hyphen before and after it to make the like us separate, but as it is now... I dunno the hyphen just seemed out of place to me. Plus I feel like the all over again applies to the growing into teenagers, not the like us.

I like the piece a lot though. As always your descriptions are beautiful, but what I really loved here was the end. I was not expecting the other woman thing. I also think the same size thing was cute in a way.

The only thing I didn't like about the ending was the "I take the front door, kick the curb, drive away and wear/your bra."... The phrase take the front door sounded really odd to me. Also, I would say wearing your bra because as it is now you're describe a sequence of events and that one seems out of place."

Really great job. Glad to see your back on fp!

I love the sounds in this poem. It would be delicious to read aloud.

"post-coital paw paw ointment" is just amazing, the way it bites around your teeth.

I didn't care for the repeat of the world "perfume," or the line "nude, entangled," because it seems like compared to your other more original imagery, this is a very used image. Other phrases that might feel unoriginal, like "unruly teenager," work very well because of the unexpected verb behind it - perhaps you could employ the same tactics?

And the last two lines give way to a more simplistic but very real truth. I like the contrast.

Lovely.

~Effervescent-Sentiments

You can really tell in the style that you're a college writer. Wordplay is really interesting and the final line is great.

This poem really made me feel something. It's really great to feel something.

I love this. A favorite for certain.

Cheers,

Love that's leaving

I like how realistic this poem is. It's full of angst, yet laced with beauty and humanity.

"We are the same size." Powerful! Thought-Provoking!

I love this. The imagery is amazing and the wording flows so well. :)

the first two stanzas especially are fabulous; in fact, i think i'd cut off the rest, although i recognized that destroys the story; still, the rest pulls it down, and the story is implied anyway in the concentrated 1st two stanzas.