I'm ecstatic that you've updated.

This piece is dark, immaculate, and somewhere between the lines of dystopian and esoteric.

Your word choice, imagery, and the entire picture you paint are extremely profound in this piece. Bitterness, doom, and death...what else is war in any form?

Back

and forth they bend your

hope, snaps it apart and

watches it roll around the

floor in marbles of glass shard.

That is a brilliant image. The glass marbles and their link to childhood and inncocence for me make me shiver.

Wonderful, wonderful...

McKinley

I like it. I really, really do. Especially the first part, flirting with discretion? Awesome. I DO love the poem but "snaps it apart and watches it roll around the floor" is a little un-flowy, maybe try "snap it apart, watching it roll around the floor" OR "snaps it apart and watched it roll around the floor" Also, the Styrofoam hearts bit didn't really sound like part of this poem. It sounded a lot more modern, and the poem had an old-age feel. I also loved the last part. It just leaves you feeling very down in the dumps. Which is a good thing. Great job

loved it! you were very awesome with your compare and contrast!

With

Styrofoam hearts they rule

mercilessly, sold their soul

for a coin and control.