I thought your description was awesome. I could really feel, taste and hear the rain. Plus I love rain anyway haha. I think its because after I was born there was rain for a week straight lol. Rain is so calming.

I felt a little confused about the whole insanity thing and I feel like you could clear that up a little (ha ha clear, ha ha , rain, sorry little joke)... I think you could have done things a little more differently to insinuate to the reader Jane was insane. And I was a little confused in general because I couldn't tell if Phil was alive or dead and I don't know maybe that was the point?

Other than that, awesome work & I am impressed.

Absolutely brilliant.
I don't understand the connection between the onomatopoeia and the amount of words, though... Feel free to explain if you have the desire. :)
-Wonderland-