|Reviews for Golden Acres Farm|
| Fractured Illusion 2/3/10 . chapter 14
This was a really sweet little story. You had me tearing up when Joey told them why he ran away (ch 4?) and then again when he returned. Very emotionally moving - well done!
I liked the ending chapter here too - how the tale doesn't really end, and that they're still out there.
| Cheyenne Kai 7/20/09 . chapter 14
A sweet ending to a well-written piece which I really enjoyed.
| Cheyenne Kai 7/9/09 . chapter 7
This is a very effective chapter; it both shows his longing to go home, and perhaps his wish that he wants to stay. I like the ambiguity at the end, which gives tension and an interest to know whether or not he will stay at this farm or not.
| Old-Wives-Tale 6/26/09 . chapter 1
I like this story so far. It's interesting, and doesn't have ridiculously long descriptions that make me want to stop reading right away. Although some cool descriptions would be nice... but hey, I'd rather have none than too many. I think you should have ended with something a little different, though. Like the man's reply to "I ran away" or something like that. It just doesn't feel like the chapter should end quite there. I see what you're doing, but it's kind of obvious he ran away, so there's not really a shock. But that's just my personal opinion, and it's something that truly doesn't matter all that much I'm just rambling because it's 1AM and I have nothing better to do. You're very creative though, I like the creepy picture it gives you and the summary promises something good.
| struck03 2/14/09 . chapter 14
this is really really cute
I didn't notice anything really that stuck out... keep up the good work!
| SpawnMeister666 2/6/09 . chapter 14
A good tale all round. Pretty short and sweet, and apart from the earlier chapter duplication issues I saw no problems.
| SpawnMeister666 1/31/09 . chapter 11
Chapters 8 and 9 are duplicated, and you did the same thing with chapters 10 and 11!
Other than that, I like where the story is going!
| 403 Forbidden 1/24/09 . chapter 7
Aw, this story is cute! I like that Joey isn't as naive a child as they think, this is really good!
| Cheyenne Kai 1/20/09 . chapter 6
I like the description that the cows look like purple grapes walking around.
It's nice that you have created a kind of surrogate parentage out of Clarissa and Joe.
| Narc 1/18/09 . chapter 6
The beginning of this chapter was great! I like how you started out with Joey thinking that something wasn't right, and only revealing afterwards that the thing that wasn't right were the purple cows. It was surprising and funny.
I like how the plot is developing in this chapter because it's a kind of turning point. Up until this chapter, whether or not the farm was actually 'magical' was still left open. But now we know that there is definitely something strange about it.
Well ... I guess that's all the chapters you have. Again, I'm reviewing for the review marathon. If you want to check it out there's a link in my profile.
| Narc 1/18/09 . chapter 5
I liked the description of Clarissa from Joey's point of view. It was very honest and perceptive, in the way that kids often are. I also thought it was cute how he recognized the fact that Joe's question (and Clarissa's lack of beauty despite the question) meant that Joe was in love.
This chapter was a little slow, compared to the other ones. Every other chapter has revealed a little more about the characters or the farm, but not so much in this one (other than the fact that Joe loves Clarissa, which could be assumed).
| Narc 1/18/09 . chapter 4
I liked Joey's reaction to Joe's statement about the farm being magical. It was very believable, especially the fact that it didn't really matter, since he liked the food anyways.
Joey sounded pretty callous when he said 'they'll get over it'. It just didn't seem to fit with how he was actually feeling right then. I felt like that line wasn't quite as believable from him.
For the review marathon! (There's a link to it in my profile)
| SpawnMeister666 1/18/09 . chapter 5
Good story so far. I look forwards to seeing where you're going to go with this one...
| Narc 1/17/09 . chapter 3
Joe seems like a very altruistic person, maybe a little too altruistic. He comes on a little too strong in this chapter, wanting to run away and die quicker to save his parents money.
I like the way you describe the small things. 'A bitter taste burned at his tongue, and the boy pushed his hot chocolate away.' That was a great line, showing how his emotion affected even how he enjoyed his drink. Your descriptions make the setting and the characters very easy to picture.
| Narc 1/17/09 . chapter 2
You do a really good job of writing from the POV of a kid. I liked the line where he mentions that the scene looked like it was out of the TV. Coming from a kid's perspective, that actually said a lot about the setting of the farmhouse.
Wow. The reveal about the disease was really good. You described Clarissa and Joe's reactions to something we can't see first, which doesn't always work as a device, but in this case made me want to keep reading to find out what it was that made them stare.