omg it's adorable!! pleez keep going!!

I think you set up the story well here. I have a sense of how the story will go and now it's just a matter of time of getting there.

You definitely could develop Jayna as a character more. I'm not getting a sense of her and what makes her tick. She doesn't strike me a complete character but it's only the first chapter so we'll see. Right now, she's on the edge of being too perfect.