Aw...this was ADORABLE! I loved it :)

awesome one-shot! really well-written =D

hahahaha its kinda funny i u thik bout it

its sweet- how on earth did u come up with a name like that? (i mean no offense to anyone who may have that name)
charlotte

this was like so cute
i really loved it 8)

Aw...cute!

cc

aw.. it made me feell all fuzzy..

So cute!! :)

One question. Can you "gulp down pizza"? I thought gulping was solely restricted to drinks?

Yes, it was a cliche, but it was a good cliche at least, and i did enjoy reading it (:

aww cute story

hortensia?? ew. very very weird.
oh well, anyways. his shocking revelation was really... err... shocking. hehe^_^
i so love that scene where he confessed to her. wOw. this is definitely going to my favorites^_^

Hey there! I found this through the comm "for the love of one shots" and am glad I did. The reading was enjoyable and easy, didn't catch any particular mistake. The flow was good, though a bit awkward sometimes. The characters are endearing and make you want to get to know them.

“Marie is so hot. She kisses like an animal and we have so much chemistry together. I love the way she rumples my hair and makes me feel warm all over. I know I told you I was going to break up with her and you like men of their word, but I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.”

This was my favorite line! Made me laugh so much for some reason. Althought I don't see how they could've been in love since age thirteen and not have figured it out sooner, I still liked your story. Good job!

Oh, sweetness! I loves you! Great story.

This was really good!

These kind of cliches never get old.
Keep writing more, I say. :D