I really liked this story!! Thanks for writing it ;P I especialy loved the last chapter. Great job.

Review Game

Aw, I really liked this. Your descriptoins were utterly fantastic with excellent details and word variations. Also that little line, "She enjoyed leaving a mark." That's just one of those lines where you stop and think to yourself, "wow! That really seems to fit her personality and apperance!"

I usually read a lot of stories that are just happy all of the time and what I think was my favorite about this is that it has it's fair portion of sadness. It really worked. You've done a great job!

Aw, nice ending. Might have been a little bit stronger, or longer, but it went very nicely and fit with the rest of the story, which is difficult to do sometimes with a piece as short as this.

Yeah, this is working out very nicely. If it's all true, then it makes sense, cause that's actually how it went. But this is really quite beautiful. It's really fun to read, and there's so much personality and life in all the characters.

Cheers,

-Mi.Ishi

Ya! I love da's like that; it's very rare that any parent is satisfied with just one's status, and is willing to disregard lack of money. If there's one thing with my family that's important, is that the significant other must have at least a job and is not in debt or anything.

Again, super cute. Is this actually a true story?

Cheers,

-Mi.Ishi

Oh my, this is way too cute.

You're writing is very poetic, and there's an amazing flow in your words that works very well with this piece.

Cheers,

-Mi.Ishi

Ahahaha, too cute.

Really, really short, but it got the point across.

Onwards to the next chapter!

Wow, beautiful imagery. What an intro into a story.

Small typo about her painting her nails at the beginning that took away from the flow, but otherwise this was quite nice.

I look forward to the next chapter! I actually had to stop myself from going to the next chapter so that I could review this one! XD

Cheers,

-Mi.Ishi

this is brilliant and amazing - it's nice to know that there are such true, happy stories out there, and that there are people like yourself who are able to see it and to write it so beautifully

their story seems like the kind you would find in a children's book.

it's so nice to know a love like that can exist. i feel happy reading this, knowing that their families accepted each other and everyone was pretty much happy with the marriage.

you're a brilliant writer. if your mother has read this, i'm sure she's proud.

I love this! It is so endearing, especially since it is true.

["It's better that you don't," she whispered softly.]
My opinion is you don't need the adverb modifying whispered. The tone of the dialogue, and the verb 'whispered' itself imply that it was said 'softly.'

Your characterization was superb. There was a clear line between both the characters and their actions, thoughts, and dialogue. Your descriptions weren't bland, straight telling, but instead showed a glimpse at personality. I could envision her mom. I also felt you did a good job with the Bengali culture, like your description of the narrator's mom being 'of the mountains,' 'saris', etc.

Good job.

This is an extremely beautiful story and I enjoyed reading it :D

beautiful story. I loved the characters, and how they ended up together. great writing.

This gave me chills. Thank-you for sharing it!