 Isca 2009-01-14 . chapter 2I noticed the 'delta waves' reference, but I guess I didn't read the poem closely enough to find the nautical references, which now that I know about them, are amazing, and add such depth to your poem! Nautical references always reminds me of Shakespearean sonnets for some reason. "O, no, it is an ever fixed mark, that looks on tempest's and is never shaken..." |
 Isca 2009-01-14 . chapter 1"It is a wake of sorrows that disturbs my sleep." A captivating opening line! I love the wise and omnicient tone here.
"In slumber's hold." A beautiful example of personification--even, perhaps, the hold that dreams have upon us.
The only constructive criticism I would suggest is to add some punctuation to the last stanza, or to structure it a little better, as sometimes the individual thoughts jumbled together. I didn't mean that in a bad way, and I'm sorry if it sounded harsh; I just think this is a good poem, and I want it to flow well throughout. :) |
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